The Art of the Flop
So many have perfected it, yet so many more, like myself, despise it. Some say its smart, some say its cheap. Some have made millions implementing it, and some, well, just look silly trying. Of course, the only thing I can be talking about is the flop. No not the flop dealing with three cards in Texas Hold 'Em nor the one where you smack your stomach in a swimming pool. The flop that occurs when you have the ability to look like you just got decked by Shaq when really all that happened was a little elbow from Earl Boykins.
The best way to talk about the flop is to mention the best floppers of all time. Some may agree, some may not, but here are the Top 5:
5. Dennis Rodman - This bad boy of basketball threw his body around better than anyone else ever to play the game. By doing this, he helped the Chicago Bulls win 3 NBA titles. His best flops probably came at the expense of Utah Jazz great Karl Malone. In fact, one could argue that Rodman's defense against Malone in the NBA Finals prevented the Jazz from ever winning their elusive championship.
4. Vlade Divac - Now I can't speak from the beginning of his career because I was just too young to remember much. However, during the many playoff series between the Sacramento Kings and Los Angeles Lakers, Vlade Dadi secured his place in the Top 5. His job in those series was to draw as many offensive fouls against Shaq as possible. Though it worked sparingly, the pride of Yugoslavia was never able to draw enough, as the Lakers always passed the Kings and subsequently won three titles during his stint with the Kings.
3. Duane Johnson - Better known as The Rock, his entire livelihood has been because of the flop. He is the perfect example of how the flop can generate millions, AND MILLIONS, of dollars as well as fans. His exaggerations in the wrestling ring and the big screen have propelled him to be one of the most recognizable faces in the media today.
2. Reggie Miller - There was not a jump shot this man took in which he did not stick his leg out and fall to the ground after he shot. Arguably the best shooter to ever play the game of basketball, Reggie made his living not only with jump shots, but from the free throw line as well. The ratio between free throws he shot to the number of times he was actually touched has to be close to 20:1. But to his credit, he did his job well and will more than likely be a first-ballot hall of famer. Congratulations for that Reggie (that pains me deeply to say).
1. Every male professional soccer player - These guys fake more things in their job than Jenna Jameson does in hers. Every time they are touched they make it seem as if a sniper just clipped them in the middle of their back from the top row of the stadium. And the best is the faces they make. Their facial expressions go from pure intensity and concentration to that of a person getting both their legs amputated without any anesthetic. The sheer humor I gain from watching the soccer floppers has earned all of them number one on my list.
Many people will disagree with some of these or question why a few are not on the list. Two that could be on the list but I feel do not qualify are my boys D-Wade and A.I. Many Dallas fans had a problem with how many free throws Wade attempted in the NBA Finals, especially his last trip to the line in Game 5 (which was probably not a foul). The fact of the matter is Wade takes the ball hard to the basket every single time. When he goes to the ground, it is not because he felt a little contact and fell over. It is because he is 11 feet in the air getting undercut by bigger men. When a person is that high with that much momentum, getting bumped, even slightly, will cause you to land extremely hard in some precarious positions. The same can be said for Iverson who is the most fearless at driving the lane. At six feet, 170 pounds (both being slightly generous) when he gets hit by another player, he is going to go flying, since he is one of the smallest players in the league.
The list above is the most impressive floppers of all time. The only flop that these guys can't pull off, is one that gives you the winning hand at the World Series of Poker.
The best way to talk about the flop is to mention the best floppers of all time. Some may agree, some may not, but here are the Top 5:
5. Dennis Rodman - This bad boy of basketball threw his body around better than anyone else ever to play the game. By doing this, he helped the Chicago Bulls win 3 NBA titles. His best flops probably came at the expense of Utah Jazz great Karl Malone. In fact, one could argue that Rodman's defense against Malone in the NBA Finals prevented the Jazz from ever winning their elusive championship.
4. Vlade Divac - Now I can't speak from the beginning of his career because I was just too young to remember much. However, during the many playoff series between the Sacramento Kings and Los Angeles Lakers, Vlade Dadi secured his place in the Top 5. His job in those series was to draw as many offensive fouls against Shaq as possible. Though it worked sparingly, the pride of Yugoslavia was never able to draw enough, as the Lakers always passed the Kings and subsequently won three titles during his stint with the Kings.
3. Duane Johnson - Better known as The Rock, his entire livelihood has been because of the flop. He is the perfect example of how the flop can generate millions, AND MILLIONS, of dollars as well as fans. His exaggerations in the wrestling ring and the big screen have propelled him to be one of the most recognizable faces in the media today.
2. Reggie Miller - There was not a jump shot this man took in which he did not stick his leg out and fall to the ground after he shot. Arguably the best shooter to ever play the game of basketball, Reggie made his living not only with jump shots, but from the free throw line as well. The ratio between free throws he shot to the number of times he was actually touched has to be close to 20:1. But to his credit, he did his job well and will more than likely be a first-ballot hall of famer. Congratulations for that Reggie (that pains me deeply to say).
1. Every male professional soccer player - These guys fake more things in their job than Jenna Jameson does in hers. Every time they are touched they make it seem as if a sniper just clipped them in the middle of their back from the top row of the stadium. And the best is the faces they make. Their facial expressions go from pure intensity and concentration to that of a person getting both their legs amputated without any anesthetic. The sheer humor I gain from watching the soccer floppers has earned all of them number one on my list.
Many people will disagree with some of these or question why a few are not on the list. Two that could be on the list but I feel do not qualify are my boys D-Wade and A.I. Many Dallas fans had a problem with how many free throws Wade attempted in the NBA Finals, especially his last trip to the line in Game 5 (which was probably not a foul). The fact of the matter is Wade takes the ball hard to the basket every single time. When he goes to the ground, it is not because he felt a little contact and fell over. It is because he is 11 feet in the air getting undercut by bigger men. When a person is that high with that much momentum, getting bumped, even slightly, will cause you to land extremely hard in some precarious positions. The same can be said for Iverson who is the most fearless at driving the lane. At six feet, 170 pounds (both being slightly generous) when he gets hit by another player, he is going to go flying, since he is one of the smallest players in the league.
The list above is the most impressive floppers of all time. The only flop that these guys can't pull off, is one that gives you the winning hand at the World Series of Poker.
posted by SteveO at 11:14 PM
1 Comments:
I just wanted to say that I like the Christmas colors...and the article is kinda good too:) I <3 Reggie Miller, especially that frappin skinny bod
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