Let's Take a Trip Back to Grammar School Boys and Girls

One thing that I fully expect is criticism and comments from those of you who take time out of your day to read my articles. If there weren't people to read my stuff and give me feedback, it would be pointless to waste my time having fun by combining words with the sports world.

However, there is one thing that I ask when insulting me:

Please do it with even one iota of intelligence so you aren't perceived as having a complete lack of knowledge.

Let's look at the most recent comments/insults/laughs for me that people posted about my G**g O**n article:

Anonymous said...

Oden would swat your shit.

Here are the facts:

Me: 6' (most would say i'm 5'11", I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt), 160 pounds, above average athleticism.
G**g O**n: 7'1" (if not taller), 255 pounds, uber-human athleticism.

I guess my readers must have some intelligence for pointing out the blatantly obvious. Kudos for that. But if that is supposed to be an insult to me or a threat that now I should be scared that O**n can block my shot, you failed miserably. I would expect him to block one of my 3-point shots at the peak of its arc while he jumps from the baseline. Again, thanks for pointing out the obvious.

Here is the other, and funnier, remark:

Anonymous said...

I don't think no one has awarded him the Naismith Award quite yet but once he plays I'm sure he would solidify that. It is prolly tough watching a "football" school take over the basketball world as quick as they did. Now only if Duke could build their football program- my god I cant believe I bought finished that sentence. It's pretty funny how you are jumping on a guy for having a broken wrist and not being able to play, and for a school being smart with not pushing him too quickly. I would think the basketball world is just anxious to see how good he will be and they have the right talk good about him when he has put himself in company like Lebron, and I'm sure your a bandwagon Cavs fan just like everyone else is. Yes, as of now it is hype but from what we've seen from him we can assume he will be a dominate player. I bet if they were talking about someone from Duke like that, which is basically every year Dicky V is all over one of them, you wouldn't have no problem. And yes, Oden would swat your shit.

This one is so much fun, I'm going to break this down almost sentence-by-sentence.

I don't think no one has awarded him the Naismith Award quite yet but once he plays I'm sure he would solidify that.

I don't think ANYONE has awarded him the trophy yet either, (comma) but once he plays he may very well earn the award. I agree. Now that he has played, recording 14 points, 10 boards and 5 blocked shots (man I hope the players who got blocked don't shoot themselves now, like I feel I would if blocked by O**n), he could finally be on his way to winning the award. At least now people have a collegiate game of experience in which to judge him.

It is prolly tough watching a "football" school take over the basketball world as quick as they did. Now only if Duke could build their football program- my god I cant believe I bought finished that sentence.

The whole "football" school taking over the basketball world has already been done as recently as, ummm, LAST YEAR. Does anyone remember Florida's dominance in the NCAA tournament last year? For some reason it is still fresh in my mind. So, I guess since I enjoyed watching them play well last year, even though they beat my Bruins, that scenario won't bother as much as you think it will.

Who cares if Duke has a good football team? They can continue to lose basically every game and it will not take away from me cheering for their basketball game. Until Coach K takes over the football program or Greg Paulus and Josh McRoberts create a lethal QB to WR connection for the Blue Devils, I will continue to not pay any attention to that program. Since when did the success of one sport team have an effect on another program anyways? I don't think there is any correlation.

Oh, I almost forgot. You can't believe you "bought" finished that sentence? Are you trying to purchase the sentence, or did you mean "bout," as in ebonics for the word "about?" Just curious.

It's pretty funny how you are jumping on a guy for having a broken wrist and not being able to play, (you should take this preceding comma and use it a few sentences earlier) and for a school being smart with not pushing him too quickly.

I am glad you think I find humor in the situation because I really do. However, it is not because he has a broken wrist. The problem for me is not that he has a broken wrist or that Thad Matta (who is a genius recruiter by the way) has wisely kept him out early in the year. The problem lies with the people who are ready to replace their respective religious idol with G**g O**n. I have said all along that he is definitely a remarkable talent, but why not let him suit up first before changing religions to O**nism. The Valpo game was a good indicator that he will be phenomenal, but would it have been unbearable to wait until that game to shower him with collegiate praise?

The next sentence is my favorite.

I would think the basketball world is just anxious to see how good he will be and they have the right talk good about him when he has put himself in company like Lebron, and I'm sure your a bandwagon Cavs fan just like everyone else is.

Yes, it is obvious that the basketball world, and Buckeye fans in particular, are excited to watch O**n play because of the company in which he now holds. Here, my friend, is where your arguement goes tragically wrong (as if it made much sense before). LEBRON JAMES IS ONE OF MY LEAST FAVORITE PLAYERS IN THE NBA. The hype that has centered around the Bucks new center is what LeBron faced in 2003. I felt the same way about LeBron as I do O**n. Is LeBron an amazing NBA player? UM, DUH. That is not even questionable. It, however, does not mean I like him. I was a much bigger fan of Carmelo Anthony during that draft as I continue to be today. Now, I am also a huge fan of Dwyane Wade from the '03 draft class, who already has a championship ring (I wish I would have paid more attention to Wade when I saw him play in the Conference USA Finals for Marquette against Cincinnati. Who knew he would be my favorite player a few years later).

Thus, I am not a bandwagon Cavs fan as you so smartly stated. It was a nice try at an assumption, though.

Yes, as of now it is hype but from what we've seen from him we can assume he will be a dominate player.

So, you bash me for what I say, then basically agree with what I say. Interesting. Although I don't think we can assume for sure, it is highly likely we will be a superstar.

I bet if they were talking about someone from Duke like that, which is basically every year Dicky V is all over one of them, you wouldn't have no problem.

Aside from the lack of displaying any grammar skills in this sentence, you seem to view me as showing a complete bias towards Duke basketball. Yes, Duke is my favorite team. However, I am able to view sports in the big picture and not only realize, but respect, good teams. Ohio State and O**n will be an excellent team this year. Duke will likely struggle to win the ACC.

There is a reason that OSU will be good. It is because they will play a style that resembles the play in the ACC, not the typical Big Ten brawling basketball. Rather than games in the 50s and 60s, the Buckeyes will score 80-85 points a game. The last team to be successful from the Big Ten was Illinois, which also played a faster, finesse game with talented guards and agile big men. Although I will not cheer for the Buckeyes (obviously), they will be a fun team to watch play (and root against) because of their transformation to an ACC-style of play.

Also, Dicky V is always on Duke's side because they are constantly a powerhouse. He also is very enthusiastic for every team who plays well. That will never change with that man.

I'm glad that you decided to agree with the previous comment that O**n would swat me. Nice touch and originality.

The moral of this article is this:
When you decide to attempt to insult someone, the least you can do is pretend to be intelligent rather than portray yourself as the last two people did on my comment wall.

P.S. Please don't be afraid to leave your name rather than posting anonymously. It is nice for me to put a face with the words so I can decide if you hold any credibility with me.